CHATTING WITH THE CHICKS OF CHICK LIT

Ha ha ha ha welcome, welcome everyone to Chatting With the Chicks of Chick Lit. I’m your host, Chuck Lottateeth, and I am so thrilled to be able to introduce you to some of the most fascinating characters in literature today. I’m talking about the leading ladies of Chick Lit—those enchanting, romantic, darling, sexy, sweet, funny, headstrong – and, let’s face it, sometimes downright frustrating – modern women who headline this fabulously fun genre. I'm sure you're going to love getting the skinny on these “novel” heroines, and who knows? You might just find your new BFF on the pages of one of these books!

Without further ado, please put your hands together and show some love for today's guests – one's a pet psychic, the other's a forensic accountant. Not only are they sisters; they're identical twins! How fun is that? Welcome, Sloane and Willa Tobin!

CHUCK: So nice to have you here, ladies!

WILLA: Thanks, Chuck. I'm a big fan of the show.

SLOANE: This isn't going to take long, is it? I have an appointment with an important client at three. <looks at her watch impatiently>

CHUCK: Let's get to it then! I have five burning questions for the two of you. First, if you were a shoe, what kind of shoe would you be?

SLOANE: Are you serious? What kind of ridiculous–

WILLA: It is a ridiculously hard question to answer, isn't it? We both love shoes, although we have wildly different tastes in footwear. If I were a shoe, I would definitely be a cute flat of some kind . . . Oooo, I know! I saw these flats the other day that had Sweetheart candies on them. You know, the ones with sweet, romantic messages like "Kiss Me" or "Be Mine"? The shoes were colorful and whimsical, just like me!

SLOANE: I suppose I would be a Jimmy Choo python pump with a 4-inch spike heel. Pythons are bad ass, and I like to think I am too.

CHUCK: Okay, next question – What are the three items you would absolutely need to have with you if you were shipwrecked on a tropical island?

WILLA: I'm going to assume that Sloane and my canine best buddy, Cicero, are shipwrecked on the island with me, so I don't need to name either of them as an "item." That being the case, the three things I'd want with me would be: Sunscreen with a high SPF because I'm fair and burn easily. The complete works of Sophie Kinsella so that I'll have something lighthearted to read and keep my mind off being stranded. And a utility lighter so that I can start fires and cook food for all of us to eat.

SLOANE: First and foremost, I'd want a weapon for defense and to kill the fish (or whatever) Willa will be cooking for us. A big, sharp knife of some kind would work. Second item would be a waterproof, solar-operated laptop so that I can make lists and calculate things like tide times and our odds of survival. Last, but not least, a first-aid kit with bandages, antibiotics, needle and thread for stitching, etcetera, so that we don't die from some silly injury or illness.

WILLA: Good thinking! And I'll share my sunscreen with you.

CHUCK: Sounds like you two will make a formidable team on that island! Moving on to question number three. Get ready, audience, because the answers to this one will give us a little peek into these ladies' love lives . . . If you had only $15 to spend, what would be the perfect date? $50? $5,000?

SLOANE: I'll take a pass on this question because I don't have time for dating. Willa, this is your area of expertise . . .

WILLA: There are so many neat things to do in San Francisco, and they don't all cost an arm and a leg. Let's see . . .

For a $15 date, I'd go to the park at Alamo Square and watch the sunset with my guy, then walk hand-in-hand (SIGH) over to the Bi-Rite Creamery and get a cone to share. My favorite flavor there is cheesecake with blueberry swirl. Yum! 

For a $50 date, seeing a romantic black and white film at the historical Castro Theater followed by going to the Bisou (Translates to "kiss"!) Bistro for a late dinner would be perfect.

I've never been on a $5000 date, but if my guy had that kind of money to blow, I'd say we should go to Napa for the weekend, stay in a really nice B&B, and visit one of the vineyards for a wine tasting.

CHUCK: Listen carefully to this next question, ladies, because it's a multi-parter . . . Your best friend is asked to describe you in five words. What would they be? Your nemesis is also asked to describe you in five words. What would they be?

WILLA: My friend and roommate, Tommy, would probably describe me as being fun-loving, quirky, optimistic, compassionate, and imaginative.

SLOANE: Oh, geez, I have no idea how Gav, who's known me since we were kids, would describe me. On a day when we're getting along, he might say that I'm smart, ambitious, sarcastic, loyal, and self-sufficient.

WILLA: I'm afraid I don't have a nemesis, so I'm not sure how to answer that question.
 
SLOANE: Here, let me help you out. People who don't get my sister and her unique brand of kookiness might say that she's flighty, gullible, delusional, obnoxiously perky, and dresses like she's not sure which decade it is.

WILLA: If that's the worst anyone can say about me, I'm doing all right! <smiles>

SLOANE: You really can see the bright side of anything. Okay, let's talk about my nemesis, Thea - UGH! She's Gavin's ex and she's a humorless, manipulative bee-yatch. She hates me, so I'm sure she'd be happy to give a negative description of me including the words domineering, work-obsessed, testy, possessive, and much prettier. Ha! Kidding about that last one, Thea would never admit that.
 
CHUCK: If you could be the heroine in any chick flick, who would it be and why?

SLOANE: I don't really watch chick flicks unless Willa makes me. The last heroine of one of those I can remember relating to was Sandra Bullock's character in The Proposal. What was her name?

WILLA: Margaret - you are so her!

SLOANE: Yeah, she was a boss. Had a great job, the respect of her superiors, all of her underlings feared her. And she ended up with Ryan Reynolds. I'd be down for that. How about you? Which chick flick heroine would you want to be? Oh, wait, you're going to say that Amy Adams movie where she's a fairy tale princess who breaks into song all the time, aren't you? <makes a face>

WILLA: Of course! I love Enchanted and Giselle! She's so sweet, and her best friends are animals, and she gets rescued by the dreamy Patrick Dempsey. That movie shows that fairy tales can happen in real life too!

SLOANE: And we're done. Thanks for having us, Mr. Bleachedteeth, but I've got business to take care of. <gives Chuck a firm handshake and walks offstage at a brisk trot>

WILLA: It has been so much fun! I hope you'll invite me back when you're interviewing Chick Lit heroines and their pets. I would love for you to meet my adorable, little guy, Cicero. Do you have pets, Chuck? <leans forward with interest>

CHUCK: I have a pygmy hedgehog named Marty who bites me every time I try to touch him. <holds up hands that are covered in tiny fang marks>   

   
But you're not here to talk about my problems! <forced chuckle> Folks, give Willa and her, uh, over-scheduled sister, Sloane, another round of applause. If you'd like to read more about them, be sure to pick up a copy of Twin Piques. See you next time here on Chatting With the Chicks of Chick Lit!


Book Blurb: Forensic accountant Sloane Tobin and kooky pet psychic Willa may have the same face, but that’s the only thing these identical twins have in common.

How she can read the hearts and minds of animals has always been a mystery to Willa, and her rotten luck with men is equally baffling. Although she’s been looking for “The One” for what feels like forever (A teenage marriage to a French mime and dating a guy named Spider seemed like good ideas at the time!), optimistic Willa refuses to give up on love. When she meets Brody, the handsome rose expert hired to save her grandmother’s garden, she’s instantly smitten, but why does he keep sending her mixed signals? Does he return her feelings, or is their attraction all in her fanciful head?

Unlike her twin, Sloane has zero interest in romance. Her passion is her job, where she uses her gift for numbers to take down slimy embezzlers and asset-hiding spouses. When she’s assigned two high profile cases, Sloane feels confident the promotion she’s been angling for is within her grasp. But will her plan to climb the corporate ladder be thwarted by difficult clients, her co-worker-with-benefits, or – most surprisingly of all – her own sister? And how’s she supposed to stay focused on the drama at work when her childhood friend, Gav, moves in next door and the spark between them becomes impossible to ignore?

To get what they both want, can Willa and Sloane band together and rely on each other’s strengths? Or will their differences drive them apart once and for all?